Friday, February 1, 2013

from single to engaged!



Eight years ago today, my life took a dramatic turn overnight: I went from being single to being engaged!  Yes, you read that correctly.  No dating, no courting, no “she is in a relationship” status on Facebook (well, I guess I didn’t have an account yet then anyway).  Perhaps some other time I’ll share a more detailed explanation of that crazy week, but for now here’s the very short version of what happened:

My guy and I were best friends, really like siblings in a lot of ways because we really enjoyed just hanging out together, mostly with my family.  The two of us would go for a walk each morning for exercise and we’d talk the whole time, sharing about life, experiences, hopes, dreams… 

It quickly got to the point where we both wanted something more but didn’t know if the other person did, until February 1st, 2005.  On our morning walk that day, after a few indirect comments, we finally directly expressed interest in each other as more than just friends. Which started a new dilemma of trying to figure out “what” our relationship should be, given that we were both at kind of strange points in life with imminent travels, studies, future plans, etc.,   

I could tell he didn’t want to assume anything or interfere with my current plans of going back to school, so to reassure him, I said something like, “Well, if I come back to town after the summer and you asked me to marry you, I would next year!”  He smiled a huge smile and said, “Well, I’d marry you tomorrow if I could!”

Well, we both agreed that’d be fun, but decided the only way that would work is if we eloped, which would be a bit of a disappointment to family and friends, so getting married so quickly probably wasn’t the best idea (smile).  

And so began our journey together as a couple, through a 16-month engagement and coming up on 7 years of marriage so far! Our relationship has taught me so much about my own selfishness and pride, but especially about the power of God’s love to change us and help us grow from the inside out.  We still have struggles and miscommunications, but more importantly we have learned (and will continue learning with God’s help) to recognize our faults and repent quickly, forgive each other completely, and enjoy daily what we have together. 

Many people say, “Enjoy the honeymoon stage while it lasts, because then reality hits!”  Well, we did, very much.  But what we have now is better; I wouldn’t wish that first stage back again.  What was then in many ways a naïve state of being in love, is now an eyes-wide-open and still deep in-love way of life.  I love, respect and admire my husband more now than ever before and he shows his love for me in ways that are more meaningful today than eight years ago. 

I am blessed to be walking through life side-by-side with my best friend; dozens of transoceanic flights, tons of changes, and three children later, we are closer-knit than ever!  I thank God each day for the wonderful man I have the huge privilege to call my husband!


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