break-time for the mind

Most mornings, my husband and I send our two oldest kids to a break-time in their rooms for between 30-45 minutes.  This is unrelated to any “time-outs” for disobedience: it simply gives our daughter some alone time and helps our son settle down for a bit, both of which allow for much more enjoyable play afterwards (smile).  I usually use that time to get something else done around the house, but if it’s too tiring to be up on my feet, then I generally write emails or get something else done on the computer.  It’s usually a productive time: something gets “checked off” the list.

However, I’ve come to the realization (with my husband’s help) that I don’t know how to rest.  Oh, I tell my children that I need a break when we’re wrestling and I’m getting tired.  And some days I decide that instead of sweeping the floors while the kids are sleeping, I need a nap too.  But in both of those cases all I’m admitting is my physical exhaustion.  What I don’t know how to do is to turn off my mind, take a break from thinking or analyzing or stressing or planning or trying to figure out how to get everything checked off of my never-ending to-do list….   

I used to think I was pretty laid-back, because I don’t have an apparently endless supply of energy and I’ve never been the type to be go-go-going, physically running around all of the time.  I look pretty calm on the outside for being a mom of three. 

But within the past year especially I’ve realized that I’m a workaholic: when it’s not physical work, it’s mental.  And it just does not stop.  I don’t even rest that much when sleeping because I dream all night long, and I wake up tired a lot from all of the “work” I did in my dreams (smile).  Even on vacation my husband had to keep telling me to relax and not get stressed about planning and to organizing “fun” family activities!

I’ll be honest with you: though I’ve told him many times over this past year, “I have to stop needing to think so much! It’s too exhausting!” I haven’t actually done anything significant to try to take mental breaks or truly disconnect on a regular basis.  Except in situations where my husband has specifically told me, “OK, no more analyzing right now. You need to rest your mind a bit!” I just haven’t really seen the need to disconnect.  Why not?  Well, because, at least subconsciously I’ve considered it a strength.  “There is so much I can do, think through, plan, help with, analyze… I don’t want to stop the wheels from turning and lose momentum!”

But really, that’s arrogant and foolish, thinking that it’s somehow my job to handle it all without putting time aside for really taking a break and resting.  Like the world is going to fall apart if I stop analyzing for a bit and just enjoy life.  And by mental break I mean that, for instance, I should be able to play something simple with my children without needing to analyze at the same time what their abilities should be in that type of play before they start kindergarten and whether I’m on track preparing them for that.  Or, that I should be able to enjoy watching a concert or TV show at night with my husband without needing to plan the next day in my mind right in that same time-frame.  “There’s a time for everything…”

There’s a verse that says, “Be still, and know that I am God…” (Psalm 46:10), and I have usually thought of that in times of reading and prayer, encouraging me to be quiet in His presence.  But, looking at the context, that whole psalm is actually talking about how God is our refuge and our fortress, how we don’t have to fear because He will make wars cease (in my mind too, I assume) and He will be exalted in the whole earth.  So in light of that, a paraphrase of verse 10 could be, “Relax! Remember that I’ve got it covered!”

So, I’m going to start putting into practice a “break-time” each day (like the time we make our kids take), where there’s nothing on the agenda, nothing to get checked off or analyzed, just relaxing, chilling and enjoying life.

And the reason why I wanted to share these thoughts this week is because this Sunday is Easter.  This is a clear reminder that God has already accomplished it all and purchased that freedom for me (including freedom from worry and stress)!  Jesus sweated blood so I don’t have to; Jesus was separated from the peace and joy of the Father so I never need to be; Jesus died for my sins so that I can live in victory; Jesus rose from the dead conquering the lie that my future is uncertain. 

I can rest because my Savior lives!