disconnected connection

Confession: I don’t know about you, but there are days when I have a really hard time getting off the computer.  Between wanting to read up on the latest news or encouraging articles and blogs, check out tips about specific family-related topics, see friends’ and families’ photos and statuses on Facebook, etc…, I’m pretty much addicted to being connected and informed. 

Even though my intention is usually just to get on for a few minutes to research or see something very specific, those few minutes usually end up being much longer and more often throughout the day than I intended.  One post leads to an article which reminds me of something else I wanted to look up, then ‘oh, I wonder if they have new photos of the baby up now’, followed by ‘I wonder how such-and-such went for so-and-so yesterday’ so I’d better go check it out, which leads to yet another article… and suddenly the morning or evening is over and I haven’t finished the things I should’ve done around the house or the kids have been playing for a long while by themselves without involved supervision or any other number of things that could’ve happened and didn’t because I was on the computer.   

Now, none of those things that I’m doing online are bad.  But that’s always been the excuse: “It’s not like I’m actually wasting time!  I’m keeping in touch with people and seeing what they’re up to or researching something important or staying informed of the latest news or getting ideas for doing specific things with the kids…”.  The problem is that most of the time, the issue isn’t doing something wrong, it’s choosing to do something good instead of something better, choosing to do something that would be fine but just at the wrong moment or for too long a chunk of time.

 I love researching tips, facts, statistics, advice, encouragement, etc., to then be able to live a fulfilling life as a person, a wife, a mother, a friend, to the best of my abilities.  But, what’s been happening is that I’ve been spending way more time accumulating information than actually putting that knowledge into practice.  I’ve known this for the past several months and have told my husband on multiple occasions that I need to spend less time online.  He has always given me good advice and encouraged me in my efforts to improve in this area.  Some days I do an OK job but then other days not so much. 

Is the Internet the problem?  Can I blame technology for its luring appeal and ability to disconnect me from what I should be doing, from things that matter more at the moment?  No, definitely not.  Internet and technology in general have been huge blessings and allowed us as a family to stay connected with friends and family around the world, have access to a wealth of really helpful information, and be entertained in very positive ways! 

No, the problem is me:  I am currently having a hard time being self-controlled in this area.  And I can’t go on pretending like this dynamic of ‘oh, I’ll really try to spend less time online’ is in fact going to change anything.  I need to make a more committed, measurable decision to actually start to change this personal tendency.  Because I know I can give more for my kids, for my husband, for my personal health, but I’m just so easily distracted right now and it’s hard for me to focus at the moment on the things that should be my priorities. 

So, I decided to make this August my first-ever “offline month”: no Facebook, no googling, no reading news or articles on the Internet, no researching online… Nothing for 31 days!   

Do I think this will solve all of my problems?  Or remove every possible temptation to “waste time”?  Or cause me to have a great, productive month connected to my family and others around me?  No, problems will still be around.  There will always be ways to waste or misuse time.  And being productive, attentive and connected to those around me will continue being a personal decision each day and every moment.  The Internet hasn’t taken away my ability to decide, but not having that personal distraction for a month will help me as I try to refocus and re-prioritize life and current responsibilities. 

Life is short and I don’t want to spend it choosing “good” over “best”. 

So, I’m off in a few days!  See you on here again in September, unless I see you in person during this time of disconnection!