remembering grandpa bob

We are living through a season of significant changes as a family.  That’s basically all of life, isn’t it?  As I was thinking about that, I realized that it was 10 years ago this summer that I moved in with my maternal grandparents for a year.  After those 12 months, I remember saying for the very first time, “That was the hardest and best year of my life.”  And I think every year since then I’ve said the same thing.  Each new year has brought new challenges, surprises, heartaches, joys, lessons, failures, blessings, opportunities to grow… 

On this trip down memory lane, I am thinking especially about my Grandpa Bob, who passed away 6 months ago today.  Because of having a newborn without a passport at that point, I was unable to attend the funeral or memorial service.  But, Grandma had asked if I could write down some thoughts for my sister to read at the service that day, which was a very special honor.  They even set up a Skype connection so that my husband and I could watch/listen to the service from the other side of the world.  How beautiful to hear the words of truth, love and hope spoken by those who shared… and tears flowed freely as the extended family sang about how there’s a place where there will be no more sorrow or pain or tears...

As a way of remembering Grandpa today, I wanted to share these thoughts written for that day six months ago:    

“My name is Kris and I am Bob’s oldest granddaughter.  I’m sorry if this is a bit wordy as I try to express my thoughts in writing and at a distance.  I wish I could be there with all of you now, but at least contributing this allows me to participate in a small way in this day.

Grandpa always made time for his grandkids even when we were very young.  He would play board and card games with us, take us to fun places and out for meals, or just talk with and listen to us… There were countless games of hearts & pinochle, and so many family moments that Grandpa captured with his ever-present video camera.

To name one specific time, I remember a special weekend when I was 9-years-old where Grandma & Grandpa took me to the coast in their motor-home.  We had such a fun time swimming, playing basketball and card games, going to see Keiko (the killer whale from Free Willy) and seeing other cool sights & landmarks.  It made me feel so blessed to realize that my grandparents loved all their grandkids collectively but also individually, for who we each are, and desired to create special memories with each of us. 

In the summer of 2003, I moved in with Grandma and Grandpa to do my senior year of high school in the U.S.  Grandpa had painted and fixed up the back room very nicely for me and had even planted a vegetable garden outside the window to give me a fun view.  He told me he was looking forward to the three of us having weekend getaways in the motor-home at different fun spots throughout the year. 

Just over a month later, Grandpa suffered a stroke that left him partially paralyzed and unable to take care of his own basic needs.  Over the next weeks and months, it was very hard to see so many of Grandma and Grandpa’s plans & dreams turn into frustrations & disappointments, knowing that life would never be the same.  But even during that time of so many changes, I saw Grandpa trying to maintain his sense of humor: when you saw that boyish smirk on his face, you knew a joke was coming! 

Over that year, my relationship with Grandma also deepened to a whole new level of friendship and we became kindred spirits.  I admire her so much for how she has pushed forward through it all, clung to Christ, and continued to be a faithful, devoted, loving wife.  I believe that the main reason why Grandpa held on as long as he did was because of Grandma’s loving care for him.

I know things got harder and harder over these past 9 years, with Grandpa’s pain increasing and his alertness decreasing.  So, in many ways most of us probably prefer to remember the 70 years of Grandpa’s life before his stroke.  That was the fun-loving, active and involved Grandpa of my childhood. And most of the stories shared today will probably be of special and meaningful memories from those many years. 

But post-stroke he was still my grandpa, the grandpa of my late teens and young adulthood.  He was there for my high school graduation party; he was there to see me marry the love of my life; he was there to hold my son Jeremy and my daughter Elizabeth within weeks of each being born.  Yes, he was in a wheel-chair… but he was there!  And he enjoyed each occasion as much as he could.  And I am very, very grateful to have those memories, along with all the ones from my childhood.

As hard as it was to see Grandpa living in a nursing home and everything that went with that, it was a vivid reminder that these bodies we have aren’t permanent.  We do, even subconsciously, groan for something more, for a place without pain, disease, and death.  We deeply desire a permanent place of health, peace and joy.  And really, for those who turn to Jesus, this life now is as bad as it will ever get… But for those that haven’t chosen Him, this life is as good as it will ever get…  And that sobering truth compelled Grandpa to preach the gospel of Jesus his whole life, so that those who don’t yet know would believe and those that already believe would deepen their relationship with God and live out their faith.

Grandpa leaves behind a legacy of multiple generations, in both his biological and spiritual family.  May each of us strive to faithfully serve the Lord, love those around us and enjoy the life He has given us, just as Grandpa did.  

(This is a verse from the hymn “When the Roll Is Called Up Yonder”, by James Milton Black)

Let us labor for the Master from the dawn till setting sun,
Let us talk of all His wondrous love and care;
Then when all of life is over, and our work on earth is done,
And the roll is called up yonder, I’ll be there.

Thank you, Grandpa, for your example of love and service!   Have fun warming up those redeemed vocal cords!”